As a mom of two boys, this Huffpost article caught my attention. I was only about 1/3 of the way through when the words strike a chord and the prickle of tears sting my eyes.
How many times have I heard those words from others, innocent enough, asking if I’ll “try for a girl” or they’d sigh and smile and say, “maybe you’ll get your girl next time.” I’m sorry, am I less of a mom because I gave birth to two beautiful boys? Will a daughter fill some kind of void that I may or may not have? Unbeknoswnst to them, their words have at times made me feel inadequate as a mother because ‘I can only give birth to boys’. In fact, on the day that my husband proposed, I called his parents to tell them the news. My then Mother-in-law-to-be said, “Well, that’s the first step in getting my grand-daughter.” It was laughable, but it certainly added a little pressure. When I was pregnant with Little Man I would find myself longing for a little girl, if only just to please the others around me. I felt guilty, knowing this was so unfair to the little being inside.
We didn’t want to find out the sex of the baby but, for reasons out of our control, I had to have several sonograms, each one just taunting us a little more. All the while through the pregnancy my head and my heart were flipping a coin; boy, girl, boy, girl? The days before my last scheduled ultrasound, my husband and I talked about finding out what we were having. The nursery was ready, clothes washed and folded into neat little bundles in the change table, and I was just about at my limit mentally and physically (can you say beached whale?). Everyone had their predictions. We wanted just one little secret between us; another preparation for the massive life-changing event we were about to embark on. On that day, as I laid my hand on my oversized and over stretched torso, I knew. I just knew it was a little boy. I felt every emotion. Sure enough, the technician asked if we wanted to know…really wanted to know, we said yes. We had about 6 weeks holding on to that secret. We bought little denim overalls and two onesies from the gender-specific side of the baby store.
For baby #2 just 2.5 years later, it was a no-brainer to find out if it was another son or a little daughter. I honestly would have been happy with either, and God blessed us with another boy. The technician scanned over the “parts” and (boy, oh boy) there was no mistaking. We were overjoyed and not once did I pout or feel dejected or put out for not conceiving a girl. Girls are wonderful, I have 4 precious nieces that I don’t spend nearly enough time with, but I am a proud momma of two wonderful boys.
I am absolutely content and my heart is full of so much love and joy for the two precious little men that call me “momma.” When their tiny hands reach to take mine, it’s as if they’re connecting right to my heart. I’m their favourite girl and they are my two little superheroes always ready to protect their momma.
P.s. Just curious, do mommas of all girls receive similar comments? i.e. “Will you try for a boy?”